If you’re getting a divorce, you may be tempted to tell your children individually. You want to sit down with each one and talk about what is going to happen. This makes it seem easier because you can fully focus on them and it promotes a better back-and-forth dialogue between the two of you.
The above are advantages to approaching the situation this way, but it is still generally not advisable to tell your children about divorce individually. You’re much better off telling them all when you’re together. Why is this?
They should find out from you, not someone else
The reason you don’t want to do this is simply that your children deserve to find out about the divorce from you and your spouse. This is going to be a big change in their lives, and they need to hear it from their parents. If you tell some of the children before others, you run the risk that siblings will tell each other or that someone will hear it through the grapevine.
Don’t worry, you can still get the benefits of having those one-on-one conversations. You just want to start by having a family conversation where you explain that the divorce is coming so everyone’s on the same page. After that discussion is done, you can go back and talk to each child on their own. Just don’t rush to this step, or you risk creating a very difficult situation for them.
Your custody options
As you and your family move closer to divorce, you are likely concerned about keeping custody of your children and getting to stay involved in their lives. Make sure you know what legal options you have.